Weekly Weigh In

Soooooooo, I gained a pound this week, making my current weight 196 lbs.  I was doing really, really well, then a couple of things happened, and my diet just got thrown way out of whack...

I was originally supposed to be playing in the pit orchestra for a production of "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" next week.  There are performances this week, too, but I was splitting the gig with a colleague, and she was going to play all of the shows this week.  However, she injured her back and was unable to play, so I ended up filling in for her.  So in addition to taking care of the kids without Nick, teaching my regularly scheduled music lessons, I also had to drive to Naples every night (35 minute drive) and play the musical, then drive home again.  I was basically gone from 6pm to 11pm Tuesday through Friday this week.  I was stressed out and starting binge eating.  Actually, I would pretty much go all day without eating very much at all, then I would get home from the show and pig out, go to bed late, get up in the middle of the night, rise for the day at 6am exhausted, and start the whole cycle over again... 

PLUS, my 6 month old daughter seemed to hit some sort of growth spurt as soon as Nick left, and her whole schedule was thrown off track.  She was eating all the time and barely sleeping.  I am usually up with her once a night for a quick feeding, then she goes right back down.  This week she was up 3 and 4 times, sometimes staying awake for as much as and hour and a half in the middle of the night.  I was exhausted and just trying to get through each day without losing my mind.  I had no mental capacity left to make smart food choices.

AND I went to the Ontario County Fair.  Two word:  Kettle Corn. 

But despite the challenges and set backs of this week, I want to take just a minute out of this post to celebrate my accomplishments thus far in the journey, because I kind of glossed over them last week...

I AM BELOW MY PRE-PREGNANCY #2 WEIGHT! After I gave birht to my son in 2010 and before I got pregnant with my daughter the follwing year, the lowest I weighed was 198.5 lbs.  So it feels REALLY great to get below that number for the firts time in 2 years. 


I AM IN "ONE-DERLAND!" Out of the 200's, baby, and not looking back. 

I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP YET!   Ok, so maybe I gave up for a day or two here and there during the past 4 months, but in the end I have stuck it out and continued to strive for health gain and weight loss. 

I am not upset about a one pound gain this week.  It was a weird week, and inconsistency is to be expected.  Nick comes home tomorrow and I can start this fresh again.  I am so excited to continue this journey with you.  Thanks for being a part of my story! 

Update on my challebging week

A friend of mine who is a military wife told me that she usually loses weight when he has to endure long periods without her husband.  She suspects it is because she has less time to eat since she is so busy caring for the kids and house.  Well, I don't know if I am losing weight or not, but I DEFINITELY have less time to eat!  I barely ate at all today, and that is HUGE for a girl who snacks at every chance she can get.  In fact, I ate so little that I can give you today's menu in a very short list.  Here is what I ate today:

•  2 slices of whole wheat toast with peanut butter
• Coffee with half and half 
• Roast beef and cheese on a Flat Out wrap 
• Lara Bar 
• Banana

 Perhaps I should have eaten more, but I honestly did not have time!  I never thought I would have to consciously make time for eating a balanced diet.  My, how children change the name of the game!

I have been doing so much better than I though I would without Nick here.  I do miss him and I can't wait to see him in 3 days, but in the mean time, I have managed to keep a good attitude, despite how utterly exhausted I am.  I feel empowered by my ability to take command of the house and family by myself.  However, I am ready to have my husband back. 

Another full day tomorrow.  I will look for more opportunities to eat small, wholesome meals. 

A challenging week

This is going to be a challenging week for me. Nick, my main support system, is out of the country on a mini mission trip to dig a well in Central America all this week. I miss having his encouragement and excitement around. Its also hard for me to make wholesome food choices when I have so little energy left after taking care of the kids all day and night. However, its also a little easier to eat right, since I am so busy with the kids I have very little time to actually eat! I did fairly well yesterday, although it was difficult for me to not binge eat once the kids were in bed. I did ok, though, and managed to limit my snacking to a big glass of wine and a couple cups of kettle corn. I am going to try to load the kids up at some point today and get a nice long walk.

As I said, I am pretty exhausted today. As a matter of fact, the writing composition part of my brain seems to be still asleep, as I can come up with nothing more to say. Keep the kids and I in your thoughts and prayers this week as we have 5 more days before daddy comes home. (With some help arriving on Wednesday night in the form of Uncle Michael and Aunt Dorothy.) Thanks!

The team digging the well 

My hard hat babe

Weekly weigh in

After such a dissapointing weigh in last week I am thrilled to report that I weighed in at 195 pounds this morning! So I guess I lost 5 pounds this week! It seems strange that I would suddenly lose 5 pounds BUT HEY I'll take it. :) I am headed to my parents cabin for the weekend in a few minutes, hence the early weigh in and the short post from my Kindle. I will post again when I return. Finally some sucess and it is so encouraging amd motivating! :) :) :)

Wordless Wednesday

Burn more calories - wear your baby!  (National Zoo, Washington, DC) 

On a hike at Gannett Hill, Naples, NY

Hiking again, Potter County, PA

Not losing weight but gaining health...

A very wise friend once told me, during a candid conversation we were having about our weight struggles, that she has the most success when she thinks about gaining health rather than losing weight. I always thought it was a wise sentiment but I could never really take it on as my own. Today, however, I really thought about it alot and started to adopt it as my mantra. Today I was active and I made wholesome food choices. I have no idea what the scale says but despite the ups and downs of my weight number, my body felt great! I think that no matter how long it takes me to reach my own ideal weight I can feel good about my progress because without a shadow of a doubt I am gaining health.

Bring it ON.

I jumped in the pool with my clothes on tonight, something I haven't done for years.  The last time I remember even jumping in the pool was about 7 years ago right after Nick and I started dating.  I was wearing flowing, pink linen pants and a tight white tank top.  I was thin and impulse and confident.  Quite the contrast from tonight, as I was hot and sweaty and bumming out that I was at home taking care of the kids instead of at the Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds concert.  I was feeling sorry for myself and frustrated and trapped, and I just had to break free.  I turned to my brother in law, asked him to hold the baby for a minute, I ran up to the pool and jumped in.  My body sliced through the cold water and I sunk down to the bottom.  As I floated towards the top, time seemed to slow down.  I heard a small voice tell me not to give up this fight.  "Just keep going, Reb.  Don't stop.  Don't you dare stop." I came to the top and swept my hair out of my face.  I took a long, cool breath and smiled.

Losing weight is a fight and struggle.  It is not easy for me.  I am stubborn and addicted to food and I don't accept change easily.  But I want more than anything to be thin and fit and healthy.  Just because this is hard does not mean that it isn't a worthy fight.  

I started this blog as a way to keep me motivated, and above all else, honest with myself.  In being honest with you, I am being honest with myself.  Here is an honest statement - this is a tough process, and for me its a process that I do not enjoy, but I am NOT going to quit, and I WILL lose weight and have the body I always dream of.  If it takes me 10 years to get there, so be it.  So for better or for worse, I blog on... 

Tomorrow is a new day, an new week, and most likely, a whole set of new challenges.  And I welcome them.  Bring it ON. 

Weekly Weigh In

I weighed in this morning at 200.0 lbs.  I felt like I did really well this week and I have no idea why the number on the scale did not reflect that.  I feel healthier and lighter on my feet and I FEEL like I am losing weight... but apparently that is not the case.  I feel like I am doing as much as I can... not as much as is humanly possible, but as much as a breast feeding mom with a toddler and an infant can do right now.  Somehow its just not enough.  Do you ever feel like what you do is NEVER enough... yeah.  

I was so disappointed this morning that I moped on the couch and watched Grey's Anatomy on Netflix while Nick and the kids went on a long walk. Then I ate about a million butterscotch chips and a couple bowls of ice cream.  If I am going to be fat anyway, I might as well have fun doing it, right?

Feeling pretty down today.  Not sure what direction to take from here.  That's all for today.

You know its been a good day when...

You know its been a good day when... 

You had a really filling breakfast.
You decided to drink more coffee instead of eat more coffee cake when the morning craving hit.
You took a long walk and burned major calories.
You went to an Arts Festival and did not eat a pound of kettle corn.
You went to an Arts Festival and did not eat fried food.
You went to an Arts Festival and only had 2 free samples at the cracker and mustard table.
You ate a good dinner and passed up ice cream for dessert.
You drank at least 64 ounces of water throughout the day.
You went to bed feeling good about the coming day.

I had a great day today. :-) 

And a good hair day, to boot. 

Cheesecake Factory and other travesties

The DelVillano family is back home, and here to stay for at least couple of weeks.  Traveling so much has been really draining for all of us in our own special ways.  For me, it has been hard to stick to my caloric goals, even when I try.  During our last weekend get-away I actually REALLY tried to make good choices, but our food industry, as I found out, makes it so hard...

Serving sizes in our country are astronomical, and the hidden fat, preservatives and obscene amount of calories are just staggering.  Take my dinner at the Cheesecake Factory on Sunday night, for example.  According to "My Fitness Pal," I should be consuming about 1530 calories a day if I want to lose 1.5 pounds a week.  (As a nursing Mama I usually eat closer to 1800.)  I knew that I wouldn't be able to find something totally healthy going out to dinner, but I thought I should be able to pick something somewhat reasonable and stay within my caloric goal for the day.  I chose a simple pasta dish that had minimal ingredients (or so I thought.)  I ate the dish, thought it was delicious, and was thoroughly proud of myself for passing up Chicken Alfredo or the Bistro Shrimp and Pasta Plate.  When I got home I sat down with my Kindle to log my calories for the evening.  I looked up the nutrition facts for the tomato basil pasta I ate, and just about died when I discovered that my meal was over 1600 calories!!!!  For a simple pasta dish! Good thing I didn't order the Bistro Shrimp and Pasta Plate - 2285 calories!!! 

1,600 calories.   

I know that restaurants have really gone over the top these days when it comes to portion sizes, but COME ON!  If I had eaten that tomato basil pasta dish and NOTHING ELSE for the entire day, I would STILL be over my calorie goal.  No wonder so many people in our country have trouble maintaining a healthy weight. 

How can the Cheesecake Factory sell someone a plate of food and market it as a normal dinner portion when it packs over 2,000 calories?  I feel like that should be a crime.  I realize that it is not their prerogative to serve healthy or diet food.  It is only their prerogative to make money and run a successful business, which they do fantastically.  However, I feel completely and utterly deceived and tricked, and that is just not nice.  Not nice at all. 

Now, I do have to admit that after further investigation, I found out that the Cheesecake Factory offers other dishes that are, in fact, lower in calories.  (Like thier "Skinnylicious Pasta” that has just over 500.)  But it still seems crazy to me that they fell they need to label a food as "skinny" or "diet" if it has a reasonable amount of calories.  What has happened to our perception of food consumption, and how can we turn it around?  Where can a fat girl turn when she wants to have a normal, enjoyable meal out without ordering foods labeled as "weight watchers meals?"  Why does it seem that NO ONE in the food industry values moderation anymore? 

All else aside, I've had a good week back at home and I'm still loving "My Fitness Pal."  I am actually looking forward to the weigh in on Saturday and I'm hoping to enter "One-derland."  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.......

Weekly Weigh In

I am posting very quickly tonight from my Kindle Fire. I weighed in this morning at 200 pounds.So I did not lose any weight BUT I didn't gain any either. I am dissapointed, honestly, but I am happy that my weight is at least steady. I think maybe one more week of using my Fitness Pal religiously will be beneficial. Also more exercising. Probably will not post again until I get back home on Tuesday. Until then, my fitness friends. PEACE.

LOL Cat hating on lettuce

I can haz lettuce???

Nothing much to say today.  Just a silly picture of a cat hating on salad to brighten your day.  ;-)

I'm doing my weigh in a day early this week because I will be out of town yet again on Saturday.  So weigh in will be on Friday morning, and I'll post the results late in the evening.  That's all for now.

Home Made Lara Bars!

Today Nick and I channeled our inner hippie and made our own Lara Bars!  It was so easy... even though we burned out the motor in our blender.  Woops.  But other than that we did a great job.  Here is what we did:

1. Pitted 28 dried dates.
2. Pureed dates with stick blender. (This is when the motor burned out. I think a food processor or a VitaMix would have been more appropriate tools for this step.)
3. Ground up about half a pound of raw cashew nuts.
4. Mixed nuts and dates together with a wooden spoon, then my hands.
5. Formed bars.
6. Wrapped in plastic wrap.

 Our Lara Bars are made entirely with organic dates and organic, raw cashews.  They are about 250 calories each, which seems like a lot of a little bar, but it will be a fantastic on-the-go breakfast or a powerful snack for Nick before his softball games.

Relating to my post yesterday about fat, salt and sugar cravings, this would be an example of a very positive and wholesome way to fulfill a sugar or fat craving.

Very happy with our home made Lara Bars!

Craving Tri-fecta

 I was reading an article in my grandmother's diabetes magazine this past weekend about food cravings.  The author made a very interesting point about the types of foods we crave, and the foods that we can not "eat just one" of.  Apparently it all has to do with THREE very addictive ingredients...

FAT
SUGAR
SALT

Think about those foods we crave and cannot get enough of.  Every one I can think of has at least TWO of those three components.  And the more irresistable the food, the more of them it has.  Let's think of some examples:

Potato Chips - fat and salt
Chocoalte - sugar and fat
Popcorn - salt and fat (butter, usually)
Donuts - fat and sugar

Some snacks even include all three, like honey roasted nuts, which include fat, sugar AND salt.  Not that fat, sugar and salt are necessarily bad by themselves, but combined with processed, empty calorie snacks, they can really wreak havoc on your health. 

 It is a fact that our bodies crave certain things because we NEED them in order to survive.  Cravings are our body's way of encouraging us to eat those things which will sustain life.  However, we have strayed so far from the food chain that our bodies are thoroughly confused.  We think of M&M's when we crave sweets instead of fresh fruit, for example.  When we just want to bite into something we go for a meatball sub instead of a big juicy apple.  Sugar and salt in excess send all kinds of mixed signals to our brains, causing us to reach for the chips and dip instead of more natural alternatives. 

I do belive that its possible to reprogram outselves to crave foods that are healthy and wholesome, but its certainly not easy!  We need to be willing to say "NO" to processed, preserved, salted and overly sugared foods.  It may cost more money, and it may cause us to feel deprived and sorry for ourslves at first.  In the end, however, it is SO GOOD for our over all health.  Our weight will drop and our organs will start working more efficiently.  We will build muscle and improve our skin tone and gain our energy back.  We cannot hope to change over night, but we can make small changes over the coarse of a period of time and gain back our ability to crave the foods that will help instead of hurt us.  We can do it. 

Weekly Weigh In

I weighed myself on Saturday while on vacation in Pennsylvania, and I was surprised and relieved to see that I FINALLY lost some weight.  I lost 1 pound.  I know it really isn't much, but I was overjoyed to see the number on the scale decreasing instead of increasing or staying the same, as it has done for so many weeks.  This little bit of sucess has REALLY motivated me this week, and I have been working so hard for the past couple of days. 

I have been saying NO to foods that I shouldn't eat and saying YES to things like water and carrot sticks.  I have been staying active and keeping my mind off food.  Its been great.

Another bit of motivation that has been fantastic for me - my husband bought me a Kindle Fire for a surprise anniversary gift!  This has enabled me to start using "My Fitness Pal," an online fitness tracker.  I now bring my Kindle everywhere and log all of my food consumption as well as exercise.  Journaling my food and exercise in this way is SO motivating for me.  I feel a renewed sense of success and hope. 

You will notice that I have changed my "weight loss stats" in the upper right hand corner of the blog to a "badge" from My Fitness Pal.  Since I was already 200 lbs. when I started using the program, the badge reports that I have not lost any weight yet.  But you and I know that my journey has already begun, and to date I have lost 5 POUNDS!  Halelujia. 

5 lbs. down, 45 lbs. to go... and onward I march!